


I know it ain't easy

by ForeignLander



Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, F/F, there's also some karaoke
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-19
Updated: 2020-04-19
Packaged: 2021-03-02 03:55:01
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 10,496
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23728654
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ForeignLander/pseuds/ForeignLander
Summary: "Kara’s nails dig into her palms when she fists her hands to smother the itch and Lena’s eyes are so green but so. Sad? Mad, maybe? Kara doesn’t know.'What’s going on?' Kara asks.'You’re Supergirl.'"Or my take on "when you found out, why didn't you just come to me right away so I could explain" with some karaoke on the side.
Relationships: Kara Danvers & Lena Luthor, Kara Danvers/Lena Luthor
Comments: 25
Kudos: 591





	I know it ain't easy

**Author's Note:**

> I'm not sure what this is just that I wrote it and the song choices within are entirely self-indulgent and I'm not sorry about it.

Kara looks over her shoulder away from the dishes she’s washing as the sound of Alex’s perfunctory knock disappears into the air and she steps through the door. The deadbolt sliding into place is loud in Kara’s ears. 

Everything is loud now. 

Since yesterday.

“I stopped at the bar and bought this for you,” Alex says, stepping towards the island and pulling a bottle of something Kara’s never seen out of the brown paper bag under her arm. “It’s the good stuff. Apparently.”

There’s a faint golden glow reflecting off some metallic flecks floating through whatever is in the bottle and Kara just looks at it.

“Alex,” she starts to protest, but her sister cuts her off with a look that Kara thinks is meant to be stern, but her eyes are too soft and Kara has to look away. She could rip this whole building right out of the ground right now if she wanted to, but her sister’s pitying eyes make her feel like she’s being ripped from the ground instead.

“Kara,” Alex says, soft. So fucking soft. Kara hates it. “For one night, just let go.”

Kara’s eyes snap up and her tongue tastes bitter with a thousand things she wants to say, sarcasm and insults and  _ pain _ she wants to sling across this countertop, and she actually has to bite at her lips to keep them in.

_ Supergirl’s not allowed to let go. Ever. _

_ I’m not you, Alex. I don’t need to drink to deal with my problems.  _

“I don’t want that,” she bites out instead, fingers curling at the edge of the counter in a last ditch effort at grounding.

Alex’s eyes flicking across her face twists her stomach into knots. She blinks down at the island as a hot, viscous weight settles behind her eyes and god  _ dammit _ she will not cry.

The silence is crushing and Kara loves her sister so much but right now she really hates how well Alex can read her.

“I want you to talk to me.” 

Alex’s hand curls at her elbow and Kara has no idea when she stepped around the counter but she loses the battle with her tears when Alex’s hand slides down her arm and squeezes at her fingers. She can barely see anything as Alex guides her to the couch. Kara loses her battle with the tightness in her throat and gasps wetly into her shoulder when Alex pulls her in for a hug.

“It’s ok,” Alex whispers, hooking her chin over Kara’s neck and all Kara can do is hold on.

But not too tight.

Even now, she’s not allowed to let go.

Kara thinks, right now, she might hate Supergirl.

But she also kind of hates Kara too.

* * *

Alex holds her and lets her cry long enough that when Kara finally gathers herself enough to pull away, the dark green of Alex’s henley is almost black at the collar.

“Sorry.” Her voice is so pathetic, she almost starts crying again.

“Hey. Don’t.” Alex says firmly, planting her hands just above Kara’s knees and squeezing hard. Even with Alex’s human strength, Kara feels it and the light pressure brings her down enough that the breath she pulls is only slightly hitching. She dips her chin in a few quick nods, to herself or to Alex, she’s not sure.

“Let’s talk it through, yeah?” Alex says, craning her neck down until she can get Kara to meet her eyes.

Kara takes a slow breath that still sounds too much like a gasp to her own ears. She has to bring her hands to her cheeks to smother the flames of embarrassment licking at her skin as her brain starts rolling vivid footage of yesterday’s memories without her permission.

“It was so bad, Alex.” Kara hates the sound of her voice when she says it, but she knows Alex is right. She needs to talk it out so it can stop torturing her and she can finally  _ do _ something about it so if she has to cry her way through it. Well. So be it.

Her face hasn’t cooled one bit and she doesn’t think it will any time soon so she drops her hands to cover Alex’s on her legs and squeezes, not too tight, and she dumps every horrible moment right into her sister’s lap.

* * *

Lena walks into game night with two bottles of wine and a look on her face that Kara can’t read. 

“I didn’t know what to bring, so I brought red and white,” she says, but there’s something in the lines around her eyes that drags Kara out of her chair and across the room.

She definitely notices the jeans and the soft sweater and the boots and the relaxed curls that are so different from the pencil skirt and sky high heels Lena wore to the first game night she attended. Something warm and fizzy lodges itself behind Kara’s sternum when she thinks about how much has changed since then. There’s a lot she needs to say to Lena, a lot she needs to tell her about a few things, but she’s not sure now is the best time and right now she just wants to make sure Lena is ok.

“Hey,” Kara says, stepping into Lena’s space with open arms.

Kara swears Lena almost flinches, but by the time it registers she already has the other woman wrapped in her embrace. She squeezes as tightly as she ever dares, patting her hand between Lena’s shoulder blades, but there’s a stiffness about Lena that Kara only remembers from the very early days of their friendship and it makes her pull back, a question on the tip of her tongue.

But before she can ask  _ are you ok what’s the matter are you hurt _ , Lena beats her to it.

“Can we talk for a minute? Before the next game?”

That warm, fizzy thing in her chest sinks to her stomach and goes flat.

“Sure,” Kara says, trying to prevent any of the panic she’s feeling from showing on her face. She reaches for Lena’s arm, but her hand falls uselessly through the air when the other woman nods and turns to walk towards the door.

Kara has no choice but to follow, not having the slightest idea what’s going on, but anxious to find out. She looks over her shoulder as Lena steps over the threshold, and gives Alex’s look of confusion a  _ be right back _ .

It’s cold outside and Kara watches as Lena tucks her hands under her folded arms. Kara imagines reaching out and running her hands over Lena’s shoulders and up and down her arms, and her palms itch with wanting. But there’s something in Lena’s posture that Kara doesn’t think has to do with the cold and even though she doesn’t know what it is, she’s dreading what is about to happen more and more each second.

Kara’s nails dig into her palms when she fists her hands to smother the itch and Lena’s eyes are so green but so. Sad? Mad, maybe? Kara doesn’t know.

“What’s going on?” Kara asks.

“You’re Supergirl.”

All the feeling in Kara’s body floods out of her through the soles of her feet and then rushes back in, zinging back and forth from the back of her skull to her tailbone in the most unpleasant way imaginable. She goes to speak but she doesn’t think she does. The sound in her ears is like an ocean wave and it won’t stop and every single one of her senses is paralyzed except for her vision which is the worst of it all because it means she sees Lena react to the confirmation in her silence. 

She just watches. And tries to say something, anything. Except the wrong thing. But everything she thinks about saying feels like the wrong thing and she’s carried a plane on her back for god’s sake but somehow in this moment, looking at Lena, Kara feels like a feather might knock her over.

“Have you nothing to say?” Lena asks the question in a voice Kara’s never heard before - a warbly, cracking thing - with the very beginnings of tears in the corners of her eyes. Her eyebrows are low and set and her nostrils are flared and now she’s, oh. Now her chin is trembling and Kara hasn’t felt this awful probably ever in her life.

“I’m sorry,” Kara gasps, high and fast in her chest like all the air was sucked out of her and she can’t get it back.

Lena’s eyes flash and the harsh line of her jaw sets back by her ear and Kara wants to rub her thumb there until it relaxes but she knows she doesn’t have that privilege. Doesn’t know if she ever will.

“So you’re not even going to deny it.”

“I-” Can’t. She wants to say. “I won’t.”

“Do you know,” Lena begins, but then her voice breaks in the most devastating way and she cuts herself off, closes her eyes and inhales sharply through her nose before she continues. “Do you know how stupid I feel?”

Kara digs her nails into her palms with such force that if her skin weren’t impenetrable, it would probably break open.

“Lena, I-” she starts, but doesn’t get far.

“No,” Lena snaps. Kara bites at the inside of her lip and Lena’s eyes  _ burn _ , so much so that it takes everything in Kara not to look away.

“You made a fool out of me,” she continues, her voice thick, and Kara swallows around a lump in her own throat. “Everyone knows, right?” she asks, tilting her head towards the door. “Everyone in there knows?”

It’s a question and Kara knows it is because Lena waits for her to speak but Kara also thinks Lena’s probably already figured out the answer on her own.

“Yes.” It’s hardly even a whisper and Kara can practically taste the shame on her tongue.

Lena’s eyes are shining, near overflowing, and her face is crumpling Kara has never ever felt like such a piece of shit.

“Lex told me. When I shot him. He told me that the woman-” she cuts herself off, and Kara sucks in a breath, can’t even begin to process the  _ when I shot him _ . “That my best friend, the only person I allowed myself to trust, the person who gave me a  _ family _ again, lied to me for  _ four years _ .”

“I’m so sorry.” The apology spills out of her and she wants to say it again and again, wants to drop to her knees and offer it like a prayer until Lena believes it. “Please trust me, I never-”

“Trust you?” Lena gapes, eyes flashing. “How am I supposed to trust anything that you say?”

“Because I love you!”

It’s out of Kara practically before she even thinks it. It’s been on a loop in her brain every time she’s seen Lena for the past three months. Probably longer, if she’s honest with herself. It’s why she’s been trying to find the right time to tell Lena about Supergirl herself. That first then, then this.

Lena’s eyebrows tilt and her eyes well up again and she wraps her arms tighter around herself and Kara wonders if she’s dying. When Lena smiles the worst smile Kara’s ever seen and rolls her eyes, Kara’s pretty sure she is.

“Yeah.” Lena nods, one hand lifting to swipe at the tears in her left eye just on the cusp of overflowing. “That’s the one part of this I can make perfect sense of.”

Kara’s stomach feels like it’s eating itself and she takes a step forward because this is all wrong and she has to do  _ something _ . 

When Kara reaches out to touch her, Lena takes a step back and Kara’s palms are on fire.

“I have to go,” Lena sniffs, unfolding her arms and straightening her posture and it isn’t until this moment that Kara realizes how small Lena had made herself. The self-loathing burns hot behind Kara’s ribs.

“Please don’t,” Kara begs with her throat full of sandpaper and salt on her lips. “Lena-”

“Everyone who’s ever claimed to love me has betrayed me. Everyone,” Lena grinds out.

“So if this is how you love me,” Lena says, and Kara isn’t breathing.

“Then don’t.”

* * *

“I’m proud of you,” Alex says.

Kara rolls her eyes, but Alex doesn’t let her get away with it.

“I’m serious,” Alex insists, shifting over and wrapping an arm around Kara’s shoulders, letting Kara lean into her like she has so many times before. “You told Lena you’re Supergirl  _ and _ how you feel about her in one go. Impressive.”

Kara’s laughter sounds wrong to her own ears, but she appreciates Alex’s attempt at levity all the same.

“Technically  _ she _ told  _ me _ I’m Supergirl.”

“Semantics.”

They’re quiet for a bit after that, just the murmur of whatever Kara had on TV in the background.

“So,” Alex draws, giving Kara’s shoulder a squeeze.

“So what?” Kara’s jaw cracks with a yawn, exhausted from 24 hours of emotional turmoil. Not to be dramatic, but. 

“What’s the plan?”

“What plan?” She’s genuinely unable to fathom how there would even be a plan in existence to fix the mess she’s gotten herself into.

Even though she can’t see it, Kara swears she can feel Alex roll her eyes.

“The plan to win her back!”

“Alex,” Kara huffs, pushing to sit up so she can look at her. “She literally told me not to love her.”

She chokes a little bit on the word  _ love _ . Saying it out loud hurts almost as much as it did hearing it the first time.

“Kara, that woman is in love with you,” Alex says flatly, and continues before Kara can argue. “Speaking as someone who has watched you two shamelessly flirt with each other for three years-”

“We do not  _ shamelessly flirt _ .”

“I can say with certainty that she has it just as bad for you as you do for her.”

“Ok even if that’s true - which is a really  _ really _ big if - she didn’t lie to me for the entirety of our friendship.”

Alex mouths  _ friendship _ with air quotes and Kara throws a pillow at her.

“I’m just saying. You’re fucking Supergirl. Why are you gonna give up on this now? Before you’ve even tried to fix it?”

“Because I’m scared,” Kara mumbles, tightness creeping back up her throat and she will not cry again. She won’t.

“Yeah, well,” Alex huffs. “Get over it and get your girl.”

Kara doesn’t feel the pillow hit her, but she still pouts while Alex laughs.

* * *

The first time Kara goes to Lena’s apartment, the doorman tells her she’s been removed from the pre-approved visitors list. She lets it hurt for a second, has to swallow around it a few times. When she’s finally able to ask if he’ll call up, he at least looks apologetic when he says, “I’m sorry, Miss Danvers, but I’ve been instructed not to do so.”

She leaves him with the bear claw she brought for him, the croissant she brought for Lena, and a  _ bye, Frank _ tossed over her shoulder.

When Kara visits LCorp, her semi-permanent visitor’s badge at least gets her through the lobby and to the elevators, but when she steps onto Lena’s floor and sees Jess’ face, she knows this isn’t going to go well.

“Hi, Jess!” She says, trying to stay cheery and hoping that Jess is none the wiser. But Jess sucks her teeth and folds her hands on her desk and tosses back a lethal  _ Miss Danvers _ that honest to god sets off Kara's fear response and sends goosebumps down her back.

“Is Lena available,” Kara asks, cursing herself for the hesitation she hears in her own voice. “I brought lunch.” She holds up two Big Belly Burger bags, a large one for her and Lena and a smaller one for Jess.

“She’s not here right now,” Jess says, professional but undeniably cool and Kara shrinks a little. “Would you like to leave a message for her?”

“Uh. Ok, yes please.” Kara takes a step forward when Jess reaches for her pen and notepad. “Will you just tell her I brought lunch and, um.”

Kara falters under Jess’ intense gaze, but presses on.

“Nevermind, just. Ask her to call me. Please?”

Jess writes  _ call Kara Danvers _ in neat script on the notepad, and before Kara can even register her own surprise, Jess smiles up at her, sickeningly sweet. She tears off the page, crushes it in her fist, and drops it in the wastebasket next to her desk.

All while looking directly at Kara.

“If that’ll be all, Miss Danvers?” Jess blinks up at her.

“Uh.” Kara gapes dumbly. “Yep. Thanks.”

She goes to leave, but at the last second, turns around and drops the bag with Jess’ food on her desk.

If she moves a little faster than is human on her way out then, well. Sue her. 

Jessica Huang is a scary woman.

* * *

It’s been seven days, twelve hours, and twenty four minutes since Kara last saw Lena. 

She’d gone to LCorp twice more, and feared for her nearly immortal life both times. 

So here she is now, sitting at her and Lena’s usual brunch spot at 9:24 on the third Saturday of the month. And it’s just like every month.

Except Lena’s not here.

And because Kara is absolutely hopeless and maybe a little bit of a masochist, she’s going to sit here through the duration of their reservation and hope Lena walks through the door. 

At 10 o’clock, their server, Paul, comes up to Kara for the second time.

“Are you sure I can’t get you anything, Miss Danvers?” He’s twisting his hands in front of himself like he’s nervous  _ for _ her and Kara absolutely cannot handle any more of that energy than she’s already got going on.

“Paul, how many times have I told you? It’s Kara.” She smiles up at him because she can hear the tiniest bit of bite in her tone and he doesn’t deserve that at all. She takes a breath. “And no, I’m fine. Thanks.”

He smiles, his hands stilling as he nods in acknowledgement.

“I’ll just check back in a few.”

“Actually,” she says, catching him before he walks away. “You can just check in when Lena gets here. I’ll be fine until then.”

The smile he gives her this time is less bright and yes, she definitely understands how pathetic she is and no, she does not expect Lena to actually show up, but she does not need Paul looking at her like  _ that _ either.

Kara wipes the sweat from her water glass - a wine glass filled with water because  _ that’s _ the kind of place where Lena had brought Kara to brunch for the first time and every time after - on her pant leg and tries not to feel awkward as she sits alone, surrounded by other groups of friends having brunch together, and lasts all of a minute before she pulls out her phone. 

The one thing she hasn’t done yet is text Lena. Well, she also hasn’t landed on her balcony, either at home or at work, because of all the things Kara has done wrong, somehow she just knows that that invasion of privacy is not one Lena would easily forgive. 

Kara closes her eyes and listens for Lena’s heartbeat like she often does, just to make sure she’s ok, but only just that. Never more. After four years, the sound of Lena’s heartbeat is so familiar to her that she sometimes tunes in without even really meaning to.

When she locks in on the steady rhythm, she breathes deep, lets herself listen for ten seconds, and then forces herself to tune out and open her eyes. 

Her phone feels like a lead weight in her hand and grows heavier when she looks at it. 

She’s contemplated texting so many times. She’s called a few times hoping Lena would pick up and agree to meet with her. But each time the ringing stops and the voicemail greeting starts, Kara listens to Lena’s voice - she misses her voice  _ so _ much - and hangs up.

Lena deserves more than a rambling voicemail. She deserves more than a clumsy text.

But it’s been more than a week and Kara’s tried everything she can think to try that won’t make Lena even more upset with her and she’s really just desperate at this point.

She just loves Lena so much and she really,  _ really  _ wants to fix this. Doesn’t know if she can, but. 

She needs to try. 

She blinks herself back into awareness from her spiraling thoughts and presses her thumb to the button on the side of her phone. The screen lights up and if Kara brushes her thumb over Lena’s face on her lock screen, nobody needs to know but her.

She presses the pad of her thumb under the screen, thinking of opening twitter to pass the time and escape the slight awkwardness of sitting alone at a restaurant but finds herself navigating to her and Lena’s message thread instead.

A blue bubble with  _ see you soon!!!!!!!! _ inside from last Friday is the last thing in the chain of messages and it makes Kara slightly nauseated to know that when Lena read that she wasn’t feeling any of the warmth Kara sent it with.

She clicks on the text box and the keyboard appears, cursor blinking up at her in an expectant sort of way that makes Kara’s lungs feel tight. The clock at the top of the screen tells her it’s been over an hour since she sat down at the table and Lena is very clearly not showing up and she’s taken up Paul’s table without ordering anything. Kara wasn’t sure her self-loathing could get any more pronounced but here she is. 

That stupid little cursor won’t stop blinking and Kara can feel the threat of tears in the back of her throat and behind her eyes. 

Before she can really think about it, her phone is  _ wooshing _ and Kara watches as the picture she just snapped of the empty seat across from her appears on her screen underneath that blue bubble from a week ago. 

She waits to hear her heart pounding in her ears but all she feels is a sort of weight of inevitability. If Lena’s going to hate her, going to cut her off entirely and never look back, then Kara can at least say she tried everything.

_ It’s better when you’re here. _

It pops onto the screen underneath the picture and Kara just stares at it until the little grey  _ Delivered _ appears.

The screen goes black as she locks her phone and Kara forces herself to drop it in her bag before she pulls a hundred dollars out of her wallet. She slips it to Paul with a smile and a quiet apology for wasting his time.

She pointedly ignores his pitying look as she steps off the patio and heads for home. 

* * *

_ Read 11:56 AM _

Kara can feel Alex’s warmth all over her left side where she’s pressed in close to get a look at Kara’s screen.

“What does this mean?” It’s been there since she opened her message thread with Lena two hours ago and she still can’t make sense of it.

“There are two scenarios. Either it’s an olive branch,” Alex starts, leaning back in her chair, throwing an arm over the back of Kara’s and drawing slowly from her beer bottle and Kara wants to throttle her. “Or it’s her way of telling you she received your message and you should fuck off.”

“Alex,” Kara whines, elbows colliding with the table a bit too hard as she digs the heels of her hands into her eye sockets. 

“Neither one of those is a bad thing.”

“In what world is ‘fuck off’  _ not _ a bad thing?” Kara huffs, turning to glare at Alex, resting her cheek against her folded hands. The stroke of Alex’s palm between her shoulder blades makes the tightness in Kara’s spine dissipate slightly.

“Lena never had her read receipts on before, right?”

“Right.”

“So regardless of the intention behind it, she wanted you to know she’d read your message,” Alex says, like it’s obvious. Like Kara’s possibly the dumbest person she’s ever met.

“So what do I do,” Kara huffs, sitting up in her chair and reaching for her club soda.

“Try again.” Alex suggests, but the upward inflection in her voice makes it sound like a question and neither the club soda nor Alex’s uncertainty do anything to relieve the sick feeling in her stomach.

Before Kara can respond, the low thrum of Tracy Chapman’s guitar plays through the speakers flanking the makeshift stage at the back of the bar.

“Oh, that’s you!” Kara says, a little ray of genuine delight shining through the otherwise subdued mood of the evening. She loves karaoke night and even if the rest of their friends had bailed - Brainy and Nia for a date night, James for some reason she can’t remember - Alex still insisted they come.

Kara’s glad for it.

Alex is lit by the dim beam of the bar’s decrepit spotlight, eyes closed as she sings through the chorus of her song.

It’s conscious this time, when Kara snaps a video and presses the blue arrow to send it off with a  _ woosh _ . The sound accompanies a similar feeling in her lungs as she listens to Alex’s low voice rasp  _ give me one reason to stay here _ and Kara’s fingers tingle. That’s all she’s asking. Just wants to know if she has reason to hope.

Kara types out her message, same as before -  _ It’s better when you’re here _ \- and presses send, clicking on the video thumbnail version of Alex and not having to strain at all to hear her phone’s audio over the din of the music and loud conversations.

_ Y _ _ ou can call me baby, you can call me anytime, you got to call me _ .

When Kara comes back to the table after a very well-received performance of Watermelon Sugar, she lasts maybe fifteen seconds before checking her phone.

_ Read 10:07 PM _

* * *

It goes on like this for a while. Kara trying to go about her life without spending every waking moment thinking about Lena.

Failing.

Every time she has the urge to just say screw it all and go to Lena, she curbs it by snapping a picture or a quick video of something that’s not completely and totally irrelevant to send to Lena.

She’s not sure they all pass, but she’s accepted her own desperation so if Lena sees it for what it is, then so be it.

No grey bubbles ever pop up, but underneath every message, Kara gets a  _ Read _ at whatever the fuck o'clock and there’s a little warmth in her chest each time because whether this is Lena saying  _ fuck you _ or  _ I see you _ , it’s  _ Lena _ and that’s really all the motivation Kara needs to keep hoping.

This time, when Kara takes a screenshot of some plumerias she stumbled upon on Instagram and sends it off to Lena, she exchanges her usual  _ it’s better when you’re here _ for an  _ I miss you _ and a separate bubble for an  _ I’m sorry _ and hopes she doesn’t completely fuck everything up.

* * *

Kara’s in the middle of brushing her teeth when she hears Alex knock at her door. She garbles a  _ one second _ , spits and rinses, and rushes across her apartment even though she could’ve sworn she left the door unlocked.

“You’re early,” she says as she swings open the door. “I thought you said-”

She chokes around her tongue and her stomach falls out of her body because it’s not Alex.

It’s Lena.

And Lena’s talking but Kara is too busy drinking in the sight of her after three weeks of nothing and she doesn’t catch anything Lena says.

“Sorry, what?” She blinks a few times as if that will clear her ears and is that her  _ voice _ ?

“I said if you have plans, I can come back.”

Lena looks the same as ever. More beautiful, if that’s possible. Her chin is up, but her eyes are piercing - guarded but so,  _ so _ bright - and it takes everything in Kara to remember the importance of boundaries and not just reach out and pull her in and never let her go.

“No!” It’s abrupt and way too loud and Kara feels her cheeks prickle as she clears her throat.

“Sorry, no.” Quieter and closer to normal this time. “No plans,” she says, lying. She steps back and grabs at the door with both hands. “Please come in.”

Lena strides in, still all confidence but softer somehow. Less guarded than when they first met but more than the last three years probably.

Kara hurts and hopes in equal measure.

Lena steps past her and into the kitchen and Kara follows, steps around the island toward the fridge.

“Would you like something to drink?” She offers it because she’s honestly not sure what else to do. Lena declines with a polite but firm  _ no thank you _ and Kara plops her awkward body onto a stool just so she doesn’t crawl right out of her skin.

She waits for Lena to take the seat across from her, but Lena just steps up to the island and sits her bag on top. She doesn’t let go of it, wraps slender fingers tightly around the top edge and it sets something to aching under Kara’s sternum. The fact that Lena is bracing herself for what comes next.

“I got your messages.” Lena’s shoulders drop as she speaks, elongating her neck and drawing Kara’s attention to the freckle there. Kara thinks she’s going for haughty but the way her lips twitch means she misses just slightly.

It’s different in a way Kara can’t put her finger on. She’s seen Lena vulnerable. She’s seen Lena with emotional armor fully intact, impenetrable. 

It takes her breath away a little that she can’t tell if this is Lena trying  _ not _ to be vulnerable or the exact opposite.

“I saw,” Kara starts, and once it’s out it’s like she can’t stop. “I hope it’s ok I kept sending them. I wasn’t sure if you wanted me to or not but you turned your read receipts on and I didn’t know what it meant and I-”

“Kara.”

The sound of her name cuts her off and she sucks in a shaking breath she physiologically doesn’t really need but somehow also definitely really does need right now. She feels so many things at once that she can’t name a single one and she braces herself to hold on for the ride and offers a weak  _ sorry _ .

“Don’t,” Lena huffs, and her eyes close for a long moment. When they open again Kara feels naked under her gaze but she doesn’t look away. Won’t.

“Just. Let me say this. Please.”

Kara nods her assent and Lena looks at her for a long moment. The silence crawls all over Kara’s skin and staying still is like trying not to scratch an itch but she manages somehow.

“You hurt me. So much,” Lena breathes, and with that one phrase, all the armor is gone. There’s  _ pain _ on Lena’s face, at the back of her eyes and the corners of her lips. Kara’s neck heats with shame. She chokes down the urge to respond with a slow gulp and tastes bile on the back of her tongue.

“When I first moved here, I was determined not to make any friends. Not to get close with  _ anyone _ . And I told you that.”

Kara nods again, all she can think to do, and Lena’s fingers flex in their grip on her bag.

“But you were so persistent. So damn earnest.” It’s said with the very faintest hint of a smile and one molecule of oxygen sneaks its way into Kara’s lungs.

“Every time I tried to push you away, every time you could’ve walked away, you didn’t.”

Kara knows this and she doesn’t think she’s supposed to speak so she just sits there willing herself not to blink.

“You-” Lena cuts herself off, blinking away from Kara and licking at the chapped skin of her lower lip. Kara’s eyes are drawn there, imagining Lena worrying the rosy pink with her teeth and she wants to soothe it in at least three ways she’s sure Lena will not allow.

“You made me love you.”

All of the air she’d been missing rushes back into her body on a silent gasp. Not hitched and gasping but slow and rushing like a drain that’s just been unstoppered and Kara’s drowning.

“And as long as  _ you _ didn’t love  _ me _ , I knew it would be fine. Because no one ever loves me and means it. No one ever loves me the way they’re supposed to. They pretend to love me because they need me to love them.”

Lena speaks like she’s reciting facts she’s long known and it makes Kara nauseated.

“So when I confronted you about being Supergirl, and your only response was to tell me that you love me?” Lena sniffs and it’s only now that Kara notices the tears pooling at Lena’s waterline. It makes Kara feel like someone has stuck their fingers in her navel and ripped her clean in two.

“It made me feel dirty, Kara.” Lena’s voice breaks and Kara watches as her forehead wrinkles and her eyebrows shift. Her tears make tracks through her make-up when they slide down her cheeks, mocking Kara from across the butcher block. 

“And I was more angry at myself,” she continues, rolling back her shoulders and seeming to try to collect herself. “Angry that I was stupid enough to believe that you loved me the way I wanted. The way that’s right.”

Kara wants to leap over the island and take Lena’s face in her hands and thumb away her tears and make Lena believe her when she says  _ I’m sorry _ and  _ I do love you that way _ and  _ I promise I can do it in the way that’s right. _

“But then you show up at my home. At my office. And you won’t stop texting me.” Flashes of the pity in Frank’s eyes and facing off with Jess and the dozens of stupid,  _ stupid _ messages she’s sent play out on an imaginary scrim in front of Lena’s face.

“And when I think about it, except for this one thing,” Lena starts, pausing and looking right into Kara’s eyes, and Kara knows exactly what she means without her having to say it. 

_ Except for you not telling me you’re Supergirl _ . _ Except for you keeping an entire half of yourself from me for four years. _

“You do love me right.”

“Lena.” Kara takes a breath, ready to unburden herself at Lena’s feet, spill all of herself all over this counter, but Lena stops her with a shake of her head.

“I can’t hear it right now, Kara. I need you to give me time,” Lena says, eyes red but clear and no longer leaking.

“Ok,” Kara says, trying to make both herself and Lena confident in her ability to comply.

Lena seems to make a decision, and she tucks her bag over her shoulder, the heels of her boots clicking as she turns toward the door. Kara pushes up from the stool, and Lena doesn’t look back when the legs scrape across the hardwood.

“You’ll come to me?” It’s almost a shout and Kara winces at how obtrusive it is in the still tense silence. “When you’re ready?”

She’s not sure if she means  _ when you’re ready to be friends again  _ or  _ when you’re ready to forgive me _ or  _ when you’re ready for me to love you _ .

“I’ll come to you,” Lena says over her shoulder, and Kara believes her.

Her front door clicks and Kara expects there to be evidence of what happened lying all around her, expects debris. But the floor is bare and the counter is clean and Kara could flatten a car without trying but right now she feels weightless.

“Ok, what the fuck happend,” Alex demands, crashing through the door with a breathlessness that would make Kara laugh if she could feel her face.

“Kara,” she says, more controlled, approaching Kara like a wounded animal. 

“She said she’d come to me.” Kara says, pins and needles in her fingers as she lets the reality of what just happened wash over her.

And Alex must realize Kara is ok, or at least on her way to ok, because she scoffs and shoves Kara off the stool. It’s a testament to Kara’s state of mind and body right now that she actually lets her.

“Nope. Not good enough,” Alex insists, pushing Kara towards the couch. “Tell me everything.”

* * *

Kara sends her a picture of possibly the cutest, fluffiest dog she’s ever seen and doesn’t even have time to lock her phone before she sees three little grey dots appear.

_ Read 6:54 AM _

Kara holds her breath and waits. Blinking at the dots while they blink back. After a few moments they disappear and Kara releases a breath she hadn’t realized she’d been holding.

She locks her phone and moves to put it in her pocket, but it chimes in her hand before it makes it there.

_ Lena _ _ 💗 _ _ loved an image _

Kara smiles for the rest of the day.

* * *

“I still think you should invite her to game night.” Alex talks through a mouthful of pizza and Kara pulls a face at her even though she knows she’s no better herself. A few weeks have gone by and even though Lena reacts to some of Kara’s messages now, she’s still never responded so. Kara doesn’t want to push it.

“She knows when they are, Alex,” Kara says petulantly. “She’ll come if she wants to.”

“Whatever. I’m just saying. Doesn’t hurt to reach out.”

Kara isn’t so sure Alex is right about that, and she gets an anxious flutter typing it out.

_ Game night tomorrow if you want. No pressure. _

She presses send and tosses her phone - gently, of course - across the room and watches it bounce onto her bed where she can’t reach it.

Alex snorts and Kara is determined to prove that she can last the rest of the movie without it so she doesn’t see it until much later.

_ Read 9:13 PM _

* * *

It’s officially been a month since Lena showed up at Kara’s apartment and gave her reason to  _ hope _ again and Kara is trying so damn hard to be patient but she’s really,  _ really _ bad at it.

“Earth to Kara,” Nia says, leaning in towards the table to catch Kara’s eyes from Brainy’s other side.

“Sorry,” she murmurs, physically shaking herself out of her head. “What’s the matter?”

“What are you singing?” The song book catches a little on the sticky tabletop when Nia slides it over to her. Kara starts flipping, not feeling particularly inspired.

“I don’t know,” she says, not actually taking in any of the words on the pages in front of her. “You?”

Nia starts to say something, but then cuts herself off. Her eyes light up and she squeezes at Brainy’s knee and speaks to the table at large.

“Oh, idea!” Jonn and James stop their conversation, knowing better than to ignore Nia when she gets like this.

Kara elbows Alex when she hears her murmur of  _ here we go _ and doesn’t feel even a little bit sorry when Alex whines an indignant  _ hey _ into the neck of her beer bottle.

“We should pick each other’s songs!” Nia gushes, and Kara can’t help the smile that pulls at her lips at Nia’s enthusiasm. “We can go in partners - so like I choose for Kara and Kara chooses for me - and you have to pick something you think the other person actually knows.”

“No way,” Alex says at the same time Jonn grunts his wordless disagreement with Nia’s proposal.

“Oh come on, Alex,” Kara says, leaning into Nia’s energy and trying to embrace some of her excitement. “It’ll be fun. Plus you’re the one who always says everyone has to sing.”

“Yeah, songs of their own choosing,” Alex grumbles.

“Fine,” Nia says, and Kara knows Brainy would’ve just been swatted in the face with her hair if she didn’t have it styled in two little buns on top of her head. “Kara and I will have fun and the rest of you can do the same lame thing we always do and have no fun at all.”

Alex rolls her eyes and Kara hears Nia squeal when Brainy and James agree to participate. Kara looks through the book in front of her, actually motivated now that she gets to choose a song for Nia, and settles on one she thinks the other girl will know and will compliment her voice.

Nia goes first as any good ringleader would, and crushes Kara’s choice of  _ Love You For A Long Time _ . The whole bar whoops and hollers for Brainy’s  _ Rasputin _ and even Jonn is wiping tears of laughter from his eyes by the end. Everyone sings along while Alex sings the hell out of  _ What’s Up _ \- her own selection - and James does a hilarious and yet surprisingly good performance of Lizzo’s  _ Truth Hurts _ . Jonn refuses to sing after that so Nia reaches around Brainy and gives Kara’s arm a squeeze with a  _ you’re up, Kara _ .

Kara makes her way across the bar, weaving around a few tables, and steps up onto the stage. She looks at the prompter but the song isn’t up yet so she sits on the stool to wait.

The swinging rhythm of the piano is very familiar to Kara and she smiles up at Nia when she recognizes it. Nia winks at her over the rim of her glass and Kara doesn’t bother looking at the prompter for this one. It’s one of her favorites.

Kara finds something at the back of the room to look at - a sign that says  _ the best beer is an open one _ \- and breathes in deep.

She’s halfway through the first verse when she has an  _ oh shit _ moment.

Because while she’s singing, she’s paying attention to what she’s singing and this song is a little bit on the nose right now. The only other person here who knows it is Alex and she looks away from her spot point and finds her sister’s eyes. Alex gives her a smile and nod of encouragement, but Kara can see her own slight panic reflected back at her.

When she hits the chorus, she’s resigned herself to the next few minutes of torture and tries and fails not to feel every single syllable of what she sings.

She sees a soft smile curve Nia’s mouth and Kara leans into the fact that she loves this song and she puts on a little bit of a show, closing her eyes and leaning into the phrasing and making sure to add just enough breath behind the parts that call for it.

She’s showing off a little, but it’s helping.

The bridge begins and Kara sways from side to side with the slowing tempo, eyes still closed, letting the quieter dynamic wash over her.

She takes a breath, preparing for the first  _ I know it ain’t easy giving up your heart _ and thinking about the ways she can adlib after like the song calls for. She blinks back into the room as she sings out  _ nobody’s perfect _ and looks to the table of her friends instead of back to her spot point on the far wall.

Which is the worst thing she could’ve possibly done because when she makes eye contact with Alex, Alex looks like she’s on the verge of passing out and Kara doesn’t even have time to worry or wonder why because right next to Alex is Lena and Kara is going to die right here on this stage.

Luckily in this part of the song, it’s not too noticeable when she stops singing, all control over her vocal folds leaving her in the face of bright green eyes glowing up at her. Kara swallows once, her throat too dry, too tight, but then Lena’s eyes are shifting, squinting slightly and when Kara forces her awareness beyond bright, brilliant green, Lena is  _ smiling _ . It’s a closed mouth smile but she’s like really, actually, smiling and Kara is breathless with it.

She couldn’t look away if she tried and she lets the pre-recorded background vocalists take the next few measures before she catches her breath and comes back in with a cry of  _ I know _ and she cries it over and over again until the end of the bridge.

This feels like the most significant moment of Kara’s life and every feeling she’s felt over the last few months floods her body at once, washing from her scalp to the soles of her feet and back again and she leans into all of it, wraps it up, and gives it to the woman staring at her from across the room.

_ I dare you to let me be your, your one and only _ _  
_ _ I promise I’m worthy to hold in your arms _ _  
_ _ So come on and give me the chance _ _  
_ _ To prove I am the one who can _ _  
_ _ Walk that mile until the end starts _

The last three lines repeat and Kara’s never really thought about it in any great detail before but they feel heavy now, important and worth repeating so she does.

_ Come on and give me the chance _ _  
_ _ To prove I am the one who can _ _  
_ _ Walk that mile until the end starts _

The track fades out and the usual bar chatter is noticeably absent and Kara breathes in the quiet, just once, before it erupts in a thunder of applause and piercing whistles. Usually this kind of response thrills her and she would take time to bask in it, but she can hardly acknowledge it.

There’s only one thing on her mind right now and she happens to be in the same room as Kara for the first time in a month.

_ She came to me. _

It’s the only thing Kara can think as she steps down from the stage on unsteady legs. A few people at the front tables offer her passing compliments and she does her best to thank them without taking her eyes off of Lena.

When Kara reaches the table, the noise of the bar around them has picked back up but her friends are deadly silent. None of them except Alex really know what happened between her and Lena all those months ago but they do know that Lena has been MIA since and that Kara won’t tell them why. Nia had tried to pester it out of her but when Kara told her, unkindly as she was able, to drop it, she’d relented.

Kara spares the briefest moment of acknowledgement for their various expressions of shock and worry before walking up behind Lena as the other woman turns sideways in her chair to look up at her. She doesn’t know if she’s allowed to touch but Lena  _ came to her _ and that has to mean something. So she reaches out, touches Lena’s shoulder as lightly as she possibly can with just the tips of her fingers and just that little bit of contact relaxes her body in a way it hasn’t been in months.

“Hey,” she breathes, scared to add any variable to the mix that could possibly mess this up for her.

“Hey.” Lena’s voice is warm and soft and Kara has missed it so much that she has to blink against the sudden flood of heat behind her eyes, clear the tightness from her throat.

They stay there, Lena sitting and Kara standing, for god knows how long, just looking at each other until Alex very loudly sets her beer bottle on the table. She doesn’t exactly slam it, but Nia definitely jumps in Kara’s periphery at the sound.

“Pool,” Alex says loudly, slapping her palms against her thighs before standing. “Come on. Let’s play pool.”

Nia, Jonn, and James all stand but Brainy doesn’t move.

“The game of pool only requires four players, Agent Danvers. It does not make logical sense for me to join you.”

Kara sees Nia lean down to whisper  _ if you don’t move right now, any games you might have hoped to play tonight are going to be single player _ in his ear like Kara doesn’t have superhuman hearing and it’s a sweet gesture but also something she very much did not need to know. She really just wants them to get a move on so she can have a moment alone with Lena.

Once they shuffle over to the pool table, Kara takes a seat in the chair Brainy just vacated and immediately her body orients itself towards Lena without conscious thought. Like it always has done, Kara realizes.

“You came,” she breathes, wanting to reach across the small space between their knees and take Lena’s hands in hers but curling them around her own knees instead in case that’s not allowed.

“I told you I would,” Lena says and  _ god _ , her voice. Kara expected Lena to come with her with no small amount of apprehension and potentially a long list of conditions but here she is with her face open and her guard down and it’s breathtaking and Kara is so,  _ so _ lucky.

Kara stops stopping herself and reaches for Lena’s hands. Her heart clenches when she takes Lena’s fingers in hers, squeezes, and feels Lena squeeze back. 

Kara goes to say more but is interrupted by the shattering of glass and some jeers and Kara looks over her shoulder.

Brainy holds a pool cue at an awkward angle, back end poking out toward a hightop table behind him where a few people sit, looking disgustedly at the now wet tabletop and down towards the shards of glass on the floor under their feet. Jonn, Alex, and James at least have the decency to  _ try _ to look like they weren’t just eavesdropping, but Kara can’t say the same for Nia who is practically laying on the table with how far over it she’s leaning, clearly having just been straining to hear Kara and Lena’s conversation.

The sound of Lena’s laughter - god, she’s missed that sound - draws Kara’s attention back to the woman next to her. Lena’s smiling, not the big wide one that she knows Lena is slightly self-conscious of that’s Kara’s favorite, but a smaller, softer one. Kara’s having a hard time forcing her eyes away from the bow of Lena’s lips, but her eyes call Kara back with the same soft glow they’ve had since Kara had noticed her at their table from the stage.

“We still have a lot to talk about,” Kara says softly, not wanting to break the spell of this quiet moment in this little bubble they’ve created in the crowded bar.

“We do,” Lena agrees easily and Kara rubs her thumbs across Lena’s knuckles and just loves her for it.

Someone bumps into Lena’s chair when they walk by and Lena’s eyebrows drop low, a few wrinkles forming between them when she tosses a scathing look over her shoulder at the patron who has no idea what he just interrupted.

“Can we go somewhere?” Lena asks, eyes softer when they come back to Kara, but brow still furrowed. Kara wants to press her lips to the spot until it smoothes. 

“Anywhere,” she promises, standing and pulling Lena up with her by their joined hands. “Anywhere you want.”

“Can we go to yours?” Lena asks, and her voice is uncertain, like she thinks Kara might say no.

Kara doesn’t even answer, just turns and starts walking. She doesn't want to let go of Lena even for a second, but she makes up for the fact that she has to drop one of Lena’s hands by lacing their fingers together. When Lena’s palm presses into hers as she grips Kara’s hand tighter and follows her through the crowd and into the cool night air, Kara feels lit from within everywhere skin touches skin.

Once they make it outside, Kara turns to ask Lena if she wants to walk, or fly, or call a car. Kara would carry Lena piggy back all the way home as long as it means Lena’s coming home with her. But before she can ask, Lena steps into her space and Kara feels her neck heat when Lena’s breath fans across her face.

Lena’s arms loop around Kara’s neck and she must be able to feel what she’s doing to her but all she says is  _ up, up, and away _ and Kara just loves her.

Instead of detangling herself from Lena and lifting her in a bridal carry like she usually would, she loops her arms around Lena’s waist, holding as firmly as she dares and only a little overwhelmed by the way Lena’s body is pressed completely into hers from chest to toe.

She checks for bystanders and when the coast is clear, she travels as fast as she dares and makes sure her feet touch down safely before lowering Lena to the ground.

Lena doesn’t step out of the loop of Kara’s arms, even when Kara loosens her hold and Kara doesn’t mind, but she cranes her neck back slightly to try to see if Lena’s ok.

She feels Lena’s laughter before she hears it. Feels it where their chests are pressed together - which,  _ wow _ \- and in little puffs of breath against her neck where Lena’s face is still hidden. Kara can feel the smile that pulls at the corner of her own mouth as Lena giggles into her neck and she nudges at Lena’s temple with her chin.

“You ok?”

“Yeah,” Lena says, breathless still with laughter as she pulls back, so close Kara nearly has to cross her eyes for Lena to come into focus. “Yeah, I’m good.”

If she wasn’t kind of maybe a little bit leaning into Lena, she might have passed out at the way Lena’s arms slide down until her hands cup Kara’s neck. The slightly rough pads of her thumbs swipe behind Kara’s ears and Kara feels a warm rush down her spine.

“Do you want to come up?”

Lena quirks an eyebrow at Kara’s phrasing and Kara would swear her eyes are at least a few shades darker than they were a minute ago, but she doesn’t say anything, just releases Kara from her grasp - much to Kara’s disappointment - and slides her hand all the way down Kara’s arm, leaving goosebumps in her wake before lacing their fingers once more. When she turns towards the building entrance, Kara’s pulled not by Lena’s hand, but by something invisible that hooks behind her navel and tugs and tugs and tugs.

The elevator ride is tense with an energy Kara can’t name, both of them facing straight ahead with hands still tangled between them. Kara thinks it should make her anxious, but instead of an extra weight in her stomach there’s this light, fizzing, bubbling thing and it all just feels right. When she runs her thumb over Lena’s, she senses the other woman’s eyes on her and instead of pretending not to, she simply turns to meet her head on.

When the elevator reaches her floor, Kara walks with Lena down the hall. Not pulling her along or trailing behind, but side by side. She can’t find her keys right away and rummaging through her bag with one hand is not working, but before she drops Lena’s hand, she lifts it to her lips, presses twice - light and quick, then firm and long, lingering - and then regretfully lets go to continue her search.

Lena chuckles behind her when Kara finally pulls her keys out with a small noise of celebration, and Kara nearly drops them when, as she pushes the key into the deadbolt, Lena settles her hand at the small of Kara’s back and presses in close.

Kara’s body feels heavy and light all at once, fast and slow, human and alien. She’s not even really sure what’s going to happen when they cross the threshold, but she’s both in a rush to find out and happy to stay in this moment for a while.

The apartment is dark except for the outside light and Kara flicks on the kitchen light, dropping her bag and keys on the island and walking further toward the fridge.

“Do you want something to drink?” she asks, and it feels a bit like deja vu.

“No, thank you,” Lena says quietly, not quite a whisper but  _ almost _ and for some reason this is when Kara starts to feel unsettled. 

“Are you sure,” she continues, turning away from the look in Lena’s eyes and pulling open the fridge door. “I have water, wine, whatever you want.”

When she reaches for the water pitcher, she realizes her hands are shaking.

The sound of the fridge closing is loud in the still air of the apartment, almost as loud as Kara’s own breathing in her ears, and she tries to ground herself before she floats away. She sets the pitcher on the counter and reaches for the cabinet door, but a hand wraps around her wrist before she can make it there.

“Kara.”

Lena’s voice is too much. Too warm. Too understanding and as much as Kara has wanted this, had hoped for it, she doesn’t deserve it. She knows she doesn’t and has to close her eyes against the feeling.

“Hey,” Lena says and her voice is right there and  _ oh _ , that’s Lena’s hand at her jaw and Kara nearly bursts trying to hold everything inside herself. “Look at me.”

Self-preservation instincts aside, Kara won’t deny her anything.

Things are a little blurry when she blinks back into the room and Lena is  _ so _ close. She’s right there and when her thumb swipes across Kara’s bottom lip and her other hand squeezes around Kara’s wrist, Kara can taste what she wants to say on the back of her tongue, clawing its way up her throat without warning. She breathes in once, sharp, but presses her lips together tightly to keep it in.

“Darling, you can say it. I’m not going anywhere. I promise.”

“Really?” It’s a breath and maybe a little bit of a sob and Kara tastes salt when she bites down on the inside of her lips.

“Really.”

Lena is too good. Too good for everyone but  _ especially _ too good for Kara and she has no idea what she’s done to deserve this kind of forgiveness but she will do whatever it takes for Lena to think she’s worthy of it if it means she gets to have  _ this _ .

“I love you,” she gasps, and now that she’s been given permission, she couldn’t contain it if she tried. “God, Lena, I love you so much.”

Lena’s hand slides to the back of her neck and Kara feels the softness of Lena’s sweater under her fingers when she grabs at Lena’s waist. When Lena pulls her down to meet her lips, all of Kara’s senses are overwhelmed at once.

It’s soft and warm and slow and Kara’s spine turns to molasses when Lena sighs into the kiss. She releases Kara’s wrist to slide her palm up Kara’s arm and cradle her face in both hands. Kara has never ever felt precious before but she does now and she pulls Lena in close, closer than they were earlier, and now feels more like flying than the real thing had anyway.

Kara slides her tongue across the seam of Lena’s mouth and Lena blooms underneath her, parting her lips on a gasping breath. Kara’s neck tingles when Lena’s fingers thread through her hair and she just wants her closer so she shuffles forward, sucking Lena’s bottom lip into her mouth as she goes, until Lena’s hips bump into the island. Kara slides her hands up Lena’s back, the cashmere of her sweater and the heat of her skin underneath making her palms tingle.

Lena’s tongue glides just inside Kara’s upper lip and it’s all Kara can do to hold on for the ride as Lena gives as good as she gets.

She’s not sure how long they’ve been standing there kissing against Kara’s kitchen island at the scene of the crime, but this is  _ so _ much better than the memory of the last time they were here. Eventually, even Kara needs to breathe, so she presses an apologetic kiss to the bow of Lena’s lower lip, once and again and then again, and rests her forehead against Lena’s.

Kara can hear Lena’s ragged breaths, can feel them against her face and she takes comfort in the fact that she is clearly not the only one affected. Lena’s hands squeeze at Kara’s hips where they’d fallen sometime during what Kara now considers the best moments of her life. Kara strokes up and down Lena’s arms a few times, touching just to touch and maybe a little bit to ground herself, and Lena lifts her chin until their noses slot together side by side.

It would take hardly anything, just the slightest movement from either one of them, for their lips to touch again so Kara brings her palms to Lena’s jaw and leans in, her lips clinging slightly to Lena’s as they brush together. Her upper lip tickles with every pass against Lena’s skin - her lips, her cheek, her nose - and she smothers the sensation by pressing her lips to the space between Lena’s eyebrows. 

Lena’s fingers dig into the impenetrable flesh at Kara’s sides - as much as is physically possible, anyway - and she sighs, breath syncing with Kara’s as she leans into the contact. Kara tilts Lena’s head gently, so gently, in the cradle of her hands and presses one more lingering kiss to the apple of Lena’s cheek before pulling back and seeking out her eyes.

Lena blinks at her, dazedly but smiling, and all Kara can think is  _ it’s better when you’re here _ . And it’s something she might not have bothered to say before, but she’s typed the words to Lena a hundred times and she’s working on being worthy of this amazing woman in front of her so this time she doesn’t choke it down.

She sets it free.

“It’s better when you’re here.”

The look she gets for that makes every single moment that’s led to this completely and totally worth it.

What Lena says next is even better.

“I love you, too.”

* * *

The next morning, as Kara is making coffee, Lena molds herself to Kara’s back and they forego breakfast in favor of making more good memories on the kitchen island.

  
  
  
  
  
  



End file.
